Remember Corey Haim in Silver Bullet? He had a super wheel chair that was motorized, gas powered… it made every snot-nosed little so so and so wanna be a cripple so he could fight werewolves with firecrackers and Roman candles all from the seat of his turbo thruster ignited joyride mobile. Even me. I remember it vividly. I wanted Gary Busey for an uncle and a two wheeled funny car that was my chariot passed parapelgia. Well we’re not hear to talk about Silver Bullet or an amazing tale of a boy vs. wold. We’re heard to talk about a movie called The Stepfather III which has a tagline so off base, I’m going to make you read it off the poster if you feel the need to agree with me. It also happens to have one of the most unimpressive, kid-in-a-wheel chair anti-icons in the history of horror. Poor guy can’t even get in the house because they didn’t give him wheelchair access. How the fuck does he get up the stairs? How does he catch his mom trying to shtup her new boyfriend if he can’t get out off the second floor? You’ve got questions about movies that stop making sense the minute they try to imitate Tim Burton’s Batman or Dark Man… we’ve got some kind of comedic response that you can accept as an answer.
This is the third installment in our Stepfather Retrospective series with one more to follow (the goddamn remake). By the few words I have already offered you, I suppose you understand that Jeff Konopka and I are not going to be kind to this movie. You’ll have to listen in to find out just what we REALLY think of the whole mess, but Terry O’Quinn’s out of the picture. We’re missing Meg Foster’s eyes and why did we ever doubth Jonathan Brandis?
Listen in, spoilers inside… I assure you we’re not giving anything you wouldn’t mind having spoiled.
There are plenty of great movies that have never been released to DVD over at VHSPS who I love and adore (and that you can check out HERE). Don’t even try to find this one.