It’s been quite awhile since the last Ritualistic Rants, but something is really starting to piss me off fiends. How many of you are like me? And are way past sick and tired of every single movie that comes out having to all of a sudden be in 3D, bumping your ticket price up a few bucks and most of the times leaving you with a skull splitting headache instead of a pleasurable viewing experience.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not want 3D to disappear, that’s not what I am saying at all. I only want it to be used responsibly and if you must have your film be 3D, shoot it using the correct cameras so it actually looks 3D instead of barely noticeable 3D. And please, I beg of you stop using 3D for movies that are in no way fashion or form improved by 3D, I’m looking at you Step It Up 3D and many other pointless genre films that were originally normally shot abortions then were turned into 3D abortions.
You know what is the saddest part of 3D? Ask me what movie I saw in 3D this year that took more advantage of the technology and applied it a manner that authentically worked and delivered what it said it would deliver…go one I’ll give you a few moments to think this over. What’s that you say? Avatar? Nope, sorry the most well done film shot in 3D I saw was Jackass 3D, that’s right fiends, the Jackass crew managed to use the technology right and turn a movie based on painful stunts and poop jokes to a epic cinema experience and one of the most fun films of 2010.
The biggest let down I had when it came to 3D in 2010 had to of been Resident Evil 3D, I was thinking zombies and 3D how could this not be awesome? Well let me tell now I was completely wrong and left that theatre feeling like a piece of me had died inside. For starters 99.9% of all the 3D gimmicks in Resident Evil 3D are pointless and suck you right out of the film to the point someone may as well of walked onto screen and said hey you liking that 3D there? Yeah boy that is 3D you are seeing, and then walk back off screen like nothing happened. The only scene in Resident Evil 3D that looked pretty cool was when she fires the coins out of the shotgun towards the screen, other than that big let down.
I also saw Toy Story 3 in 3D, cute right? 3rd movie so it has to be in 3D, yeah we get it Hollywood 3D it’s the new thing but seriously stop feeling like if your movie makes it a 3rd film that it has to be in 3D. Toy Story 3D didn’t look all that 3D most of the time, while it was better than most real time films I saw last year, it still didn’t seem all that impressive. Honestly I would of rather seen it in normal form and saved myself a headache and a few bucks, sometimes you really feel like you just paid a extra three bucks just to get a headache that will stay with you for hours to come.
Its mind blowing the difference between a film that was truly shot in 3D and one that is converted later as a last minute marketing gimmick. I hope if this 3D trend sticks around, they somehow make it more affordable to use true 3D set up instead of poorly converting it later on. But until then, I’m just not interested I don’t care if it is the 3rd film in a franchise if you don’t shoot it using the authentic 3D technology liked that used in Avatar and Jackass 3D count me out, I can think of millions of free methods to give myself a headache I do not need the help of your shitty glasses.
P.S. If you wear real glasses, the 3D glasses suck even more because they barley fit over your glasses and always fall of or get messed up *flips table over* *breaks it* AHHHH I’m done with this rant.