A short time ago, the internet caught fire thanks to some leaked “test footage” of the elusive Deadpool movie with Ryan Reynolds. We were first exposed to Reynolds in the title role in the… less-than-great X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie that came out a few years ago. As awful as that movie was, Reynolds brought to life a character that many(well, let’s be honest here. A good chunk of the fans that exist now were unfamiliar with the character prior to his appearance on the big screen) had been clamoring for. Since then, it seemed only logical that FOX put together a Deadpool film with Reynolds as the lead. It took some time, but finally it was announced that Deadpool would get his own film. A script was written, a director was hired, and some footage was actually shot with Reynolds in-character. Then, radio silence. FOX continued to pump out X-Men-related movies, but no word on Deadpool. Then, a few weeks ago, some of the footage that was shot leaked onto the internet, and as a collective, we pooped our pants. It seemed to encapsulate everything we loved about the character, but at the same time, it made us sad that it would never become a reality. Shortly thereafter, an official, HD version of the test footage was released by the studio, which started talk about the very real possibility that Deadpool would be coming to the screen in the near future. Last week, in a shockingly non-shocking announcement, FOX alerted fans that not only would Deadpool be happening, but now it has a 2016 release date. 

For the first few days, people shared the announcement with their friends on facebook, and other avenues of social interaction, and shared in the joy that one of their beloved comic book characters would finally be getting a feature-length film. It wouldn’t last for long, though, because a couple of days later, word came down that when the Deadpool movie gets released, it would happen within the confines of  a PG-13 rated movie. OH NO! Am I right? No, not really. First of all, some of the most violent action movies released to theaters this year were rated PG-13. One such example is Expendables 3. Say what you want about that film, but you can’t deny that an overwhelming amount of bad guys were done away with in that film. That has to be one of the highest body counts for widely-distributed studio films for the year of 2014. Yeah, there wasn’t an excessive amount of unrealistic CGI blood and gore, but in many ways, that made the violence in the third entry of that series a little more grounded in reality, and certainly somewhat more effective. Another extremely violent PG-13 film released to theaters this year was Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I wasn’t fortunate enough to catch this one in theaters, but I watched it the day the Blu-ray hit store shelves, and holy shit!

Second of all, what does the rating mean, anyway? The MPAA is a political entity, whether the studios will admit it or not. We’ve seen in documentaries like This Film Is Not Yet Rated, that they are far more reasonable with films from a major studio. Why is that? It’s because of the money, Lebowski! Where political power is held, corruption will be present. Yes, the MPAA is a corrupt institution. Yes, they can be persuaded with money.  Yes, they are far more strict with independent features, because there is less money to be had. Stallone promised us, when word dropped that the new Expendables film would be “right there” as in, almost rated R, and really, I think it should have been rated R. There was no nudity, and no excessive(albeit poorly rendered) CGI gore, but people die. A lot of them. How many people got their shit pushed in in the new Captain America movie? A lot. You have to remember, that there is no guidelines as far as what is acceptable in a PG-13 movie. Granted, you can’t have excessive, gory disembowelings, full-frontal nudity(in a sexual context) or excessive used of the word “fuck”. But, in all reality, it depends on which studio is releasing your film, and how much money they are willing to pay the MPAA to get them to loosen the grip.

I will admit, that when the trend of the PG-13 horror movies started, I was a bit concerned. But we forget why the rating was invented. Prior to its inception, there were some extremely R-rated films released with a PG rating. Jaws? PG. Both of the GOOD Indiana Jones movies – you know, where people’s faces melt off, someone has his heart ripped through his chest, and they eat brains out of a severed monkey head? – PG. Gremlins? PG. The first PG-13 film released to theaters, was Red Dawn. You like that movie, right? And there’s no denying that it is an extremely violent film. People die, and graphic depictions of gun-on-skin damage are present. The PG-13 was invented, so as to widen the gap between PG, and R. So studios could release a film that would normally be rated R, but with a disclaimer, allowing them to market it towards children 13 and up, to boost ticket sales. This means that content that would normally be delivered with a softer R rating, could now be accessed by pretty much anyone, without a parental guardian. PG-13, in a lot of cases, is a GOOD thing. Sure, some of us wish that even Disney cartoons would be released with a hard-R, but we need to stop being spoiled little shits, and realize that it is unnecessary.

Look, I’m not a Deadpool expert, but I have read some of it. It is more-than-possible for it to come to life within the confines of a PG-13. I think I’ve done a good job at listing several violent films that were released with the same rating. AND, it’s being released by FOX, a major studio, with political pull. It might not be the over-the-top gorefest that you want, but hey, you enjoyed the test footage, right? That would get a PG-13 rating, if it were submitted to the board. So why is it that a full movie with that tone, sarcasm and violence has you throwing a temper tantrum? Deadpool isn’t exactly Punisher: MAX, right? Some of the most praised films this year, were released as a PG-13. Captain America 2, Guardians of the Galaxy, et cetera. Deadpool is probably going to be PG-13, and you’re going to have to get over it. It will still be a good film, if the script is there, and the rating will have no impact on that. And let’s be honest, even if you don’t admit to it, you’re going to go see it the moment you get the chance. You can act like an e-tough guy, and claim you’re not even going to bother with it if you want. Just know that we all know you’re full of shit. Utilize some consistency, for piss’ sake. Bitching about a comic book movie being PG-13, is just as cunty as claiming a remake destroyed your childhood. It’s nonsense. Stop being spoiled little brats, and learn to embrace good news like this. You’re not going to boycott the film, so quit pretending that you are. Deadpool is coming to theaters, so brush up on comics, and be there on opening day. I know that I will.