Three years ago in Mexico, determined Federally Machete (Danny Trejo) is betrayed and set-up by his boss, resulting in his wife and child being murdered by drug kingpin Torrez (Steven Seagal). Now, in Texas, Machete resurfaces when hired to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), an extreme advocate against illegal immigration in the 2010 masterpiece “Machete”.
I want to start off with a quick cast rundown, Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan,and the great Tom Savini all featured in the same film, and not your typical bullshit Hollywood action flick but a gore infused grind house experience that will leave you speechless and dying to take the ride it provides again and again.
Every real movie fan has a selection of films that they saw in a theatre setting that they will never forget, films that provided experiences that would be forever embed into the subconscious of the viewer for the rest of their days here on earth. Honestly I have to state right now that I have not had as much in a theatre as I did watching “Machete” since I viewed the first Crow film on the big screen, which means a lot coming from me ask anyone who personally knows me and they will inform you of my obsession with “The Crow” franchise.
Danny Trejo’s portrayal of Machete can only be described as the blending of El Mariachi and Jason Voorhee into one unstoppable killing machine. The brutality of this film is far beyond even what the red band trailer gave hints too, I at some point lost count of the number of severed limbs that were present in this blood soaked special FX work of art.
Every last person involved in this film stood out and created memorable characters that will be quoted and referenced too for decades to come. Michelle Rodriguez’s performance is one I will not soon forget; she really impressed me with her role as Luz. But in the end my favorite character in this film is Padre played by the legend himself Cheech Marin, his dialog and just over all screen time in “Machete” are nothing short of incredible.
The plot moves at a perfect pace introducing new faces and intertwining them as needed and in very entertaining fashions. Each character has a strong presence and reason for their involvement in a truly complex and well written story arch that is sure to please any movie fan. Expect lots of over the top violence, crude humor, gore, tits, bad action clichés, and enough laughs to keep you begging for just 30 more minutes of “Machete”.
Bottom line, if you are a fan of grind house action films, you will not be let down with “Machete” it’s everything you could want rolled up into one neat package, I am beyond comfortable saying that this is the best movie I have seen in 2010 so far, and to go even further the best movie in general I have seen in many years. I had so much fun watching “Machete”, I highly recommend it be viewed with a handful of popcorn, an ice cold beverage, and perhaps with bloodshot eyes for full enjoyment, but whatever you do make sure you see this movie the way it should be seen on a big screen with crisp high def surround sound.
On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give “Machete” a well deserved 10 out of 10 and award for most effective male enhancement, this movie packs so much testerone that you’ll balls will increase in size three fold during your viewing.
10 / 10
- Ted “Ritualistic” Brown