We’ve been on hiatus. I think that means I’ve been lazy, but to you it probably only felt like moments. Seconds even. Maybe you’ve been chomping at the bit awaiting the arrival of the latest installment of 1980x. Maybe you forgot about me.. well I didn’t forget about you dear readers. I got soooo busy reviewing goddamn movies that I forgot about what it is that I love about writing about ideas. Concepts. I forgot that analysis is anal with a few letters scrawled at the end to make it look fancy. Not that there’s anything wrong with anal… which brings us to tonight’s conversation on IT CAME FROM 1980x. Let’s talk about the psycho-sexual, munging and cunnilinguini of Brian Yuzna’s 1989 satire horror gross out, SOCIETY.
From the back of the VHS box:
“If You Don’t Belong, They’ll Eat You Alive”
From horror maestro Brian Yuzna (Re-Animator, Bride of Re-Animator) and F/X wizard Screaming Mad George (Poltergeist II, The Abyss) comes a heart stopping vision of the hideous desires and unrelenting terror which lurks behind the high class veneer of SOCIETY.
On the surface, Beverly Hills teenager Bill Whitney (Billy Warlock) has it all – good looks, nice family and money to burn. But lately Bill has been feeling like an outside, that he just doesn’t fit in, that something bad is going to happen. Bill is starting to be very afraid. And he should be. He’s being pursued by a deadly beauty with body parts to spare and his parents threw a coming out party for his sister where ritual sacrifice was the highlight of the evening. Now Bill has an invitation to be the guest of honor at a very special gathering at Society. But this is one party he might want to miss. Because to enter Society is to plunge headfirst into a world so monstrous, a truth so terrifying that Bill might just lose his mind… if he doesn’t lose his life first.
Trailer (if you can’t read or if you simply remember when MTV had music videos… trailers… the music videos of the next millenium?):
Society is a super mega gross out, but you have to earn it. You have to earn just how powerful this deranged mindfuck of a movie can be because nothing will prepare you for the last 30 minutes and you’ll never see it coming. Is it David Lynch mindfuck? Nope. Just a dryhump compared to Lynch, but it breaks the condom and leaves a foul ripe pre-cum right on your TV screen. That’s not to say that what is truly disgusting about Society is sex. It’s not sex outright. It’s not even sexy. It’s just… grossy. When you’re done watching Society you’ll Windex your TV and your remote and your VCR or DVD player if you’ve been visiting VHSPS (that’s where I picked up my copy). You’re gonna wanna sanitize or take the morning after pill or something. Gargle with salt water. Drink heavily. … and then watch it again to make sure you didn’t miss a single sloppy moment.
Put out by Republic Pictures Home Video, the United States waited about 3 years to get their grubby mits on this picture. It sure was popular in Europe but it was thought to be to controversial for an American audience.
I’ve been intentionally vague up until this point. I don’t want to spoil the end. I don’t want to ruin the reason you’d watch the goddamn movie at all. You don’t watch it for the social commentary that’s for fuck sure. You watch Brian Yuzna movie’s because you get a boner or an erect clitoris while watching them. You watch them for the gore-boner or the gross-boner… you watch Yuzna for the sexy sick fuck you’d be if only the post-apocalypse would start tomorrowand we could all let our cock and balls drag the ground (these Haines are getting awful tight). Let’s start the spoiler now-ish.
Spare the rod, I’M ABOUT TO SPOIL THE FUCKING MOVIE (please overt your virgin eyes unless you’ve shed quim to Society).
The end of this movie (no matter how it got there) features an action/ritual referred to as the shunt. Shunt… rhymes with… bunt… or hunt… or punt… or CUNT. It also is a single syllable word that kind of reminds me of the word fuck. All well and good, it’s sounds brilliant dirty. Yes, there’s a medical definition of the term shunt, but we are talking about the action of shunting: feeding on the poor; sucking the nutrients out of them and deforming and molding and melting ones body to absorb the under-echelon. That’s what happens at the end of the movie. It’s sloppy and wet and looks like somebody let a pile of old fuckers play with latex and WET brand lubricant. It’s a marvelous time. Delicious. Wet. Sloppy. Gooey. Sexy (not sexy really). It’s disgusting. Well it’s disgusting because it’s a bunch of creepy old rich, deformed fuckers doing it to some guy who obviously isn’t someone you’d want to put your lips or skin on much less melt with.
What if you were the upper echelon? Society. The creme de la creme. What if you could engage in the shunting with anyone you’d want… who would you shunt? I sat in bed, hand all Al Bundy-ed and said… that’s a fucking list you need to see, right? Some people have a bucket list. A shopping list. A star fucking exception list. Me? I have a…
SHUNTING LIST (people to shunt if shunting existed):
1. Sasha Grey – who? Yes the porn star turned horror actress who performed opposite David Hess in 2010 in Smash Cut. She’s sworn off the porn (or so she says) but she’s pretty much done the dirtiest of the dirty acts and lived to tell about it. Attractive? Sure, but that can’t be helped. I believe Miss Grey would make a grade A shunt. Perhaps the Kobe beef with a delightfully ripe tomato of a shunt. Go watch her movies (porn or otherwise).
2. Valerie Hartman – This name comes up anytime we make a list of moderately attractive women in horror. You’d know her better by the name Ally… the pit toilet girlie from Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers. I think I wanted to shunt her before I even saw Society (for the first time just this past year). I’d shunt her dead body post pit toilet. That’s a fact. Ms. Hartman got married and dropped out of the spotlight, probably got older (that’s what happens kiddies) but I’m just about okay with all of that. You can shunt with your eyes closed.
3. PJ Soles – She got my ghost. It’s that simple. Just call me Bob and throw a sheet over my head. Hell, we can shunt under the sheet. All things being equal she’d make a fine shunting partner. Ever wonder what pigtails would look like with a gallon of latex and K. Y. dumped on them? This might be your chance to find out. Totally.
4. Margaret Thatcher – She’s exactly the opposite of what you’d want to melt and absorb, but I’d do it just to get revenge. Revenge for all the lives she may have destroyed during her Puritanical watch as PM of England. She stood by and supported the Video Recording Act of 1984 and ruined lives as people went to jail for owning or screening Video Nasties. That’s my gripe. I’m sure you have your own personal gripe if you lived on the Britsh Isles during hte 80’s . I’d shunt her while watch the Land of Confusion video by Genesis while shunting the dead, decaying body of Ronald Regan. What the Hell do you call shunting a dead body anyway? Necro-shunt? Somebody get Yuzna on the phone.
5. Tammy Faye Baker, Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin all that same time – that’s like the mother, the daughter and the holy roller. I’m gonna need back up and a ladder. No one’s as high and mighty as this crew of debauched, devicisive, hypocrites. Maybe the best thing to do would be to adopt the Dr. Heiter approach and human centipede them together then make with the shunting while listening to the Joan Osbourn.
I suppose the hateful shunting could continue for quite some time and for those of you who stuck around to read the list and had the movie spoiled in any fashion because you hadn’t seen it, aren’t you just a tad bit curious as to what I plan on doing to them.,. if one could shunt. In a perfect world. Who would you shunt? Share this post and comment and ask others… if shunting was a real form of ingestion, who would you shunt? The entire congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church? Maybe Jamie Gillis? For fun or profit or experimentation.
Deep thoughts. Deep Throats. Can I get fries with that?
Make sure you keep your goddamn heads clean, rewind the tape and don’t forget to use plenty of latex while shunting.
Also, make sure to stop by VHSPS and love them. Buy from them. $10 a disc is like visiting your mom and pop video store. Buy in bulk. Visit them at conventions.
Note: If you made my shunting list please consider it an honor… unless your Margaret Thatcher or the Unholy Triumverate of Gorgon She-Bitches.