OK Young’ns, hopefully you’ve had time to let volume one sink into your brain-holes. Now it’s time to jump into volume two and see how much further Zombie takes us down the Hillbilly Rabbit Hole. So pay attention because I’m gonna learn ya somethin’!
Again, I will assume that everyone (reading this post) has seen The Devil’s Rejects. If not, tell me why the Hell you didn’t watch it right after you sat through The House of 1000 Corpses?! Huh?! Anyway, you’re grounded. Now, go sit in the out house and think about what you did…
Now, we’ll briefly re-cap volume one so we’re all on the same page. For some unGodly reason, Rob Zombie thinks Hillbillies are cool and makes them bad-ass in his flicks instead of dumb-ass-es. Instead of making them bumbling comic relief stereotypes, he turns them into deceptively devious (yet still off the wall and funny) killer sharks that are just as likely to wear your face as rape it. That, in itself, is impressive. Most impressive.
As I said in Vol 1, there are some stereotypical hillbillies out there in their mullets and camo, but we’re not all like that and I LOVE that Zombie recognizes this.
Now that Zombie has introduced the characters and laid down the foundation for them, it’s time to expand on their stories and personalities.
Captain Spaulding, played by Sid Haig, was rather ambiguous in House of 1000 Corpses. This time around, he is revealed to be Baby’s father and an integral member of the Firefly family. This film further explores Spaulding’s affinity for the large ladies.
Further explored in this film is Spaulding’s overall BadAssery. He TOTALLY punches P.J. Soles in the face and steals her car. You don’t get any cooler than that… totally.
Otis B. Driftwood, played by Bill Moseley, is still deeply depraved and the most lethal member of the family. His character doesn’t really get developed much further, other than showing the nonexistent boundaries of his depravity. OH! And he kinda rapes a lady with his gun… ‘Nuff said.
He finally completes his unexplained metamorphosis from a long haired, albino, Wolverine-Doug Jones hybrid into a long haired, normally pigmented Charles Manson-Doug Jones hybrid.
Baby, played by Sheri Moon Zombie, is still extremely hot.
Mother Firefly, this time played by Leslie Easterbrook, is still quite the seductress-whore in this film. Her cunning and insanity is pushed much further in this film as her character is captured by police and tortured by William Forsythe. Their cat-and –mouse game of craziness is quite fascinating.
Grandpa Hugo, played by Dennis Fimple, sadly is not in this film due to his passing on/away.
Tiny, played by Matthew McGrory, is still the ever Gentle-ish Giant of the family. He doesn’t really have a gigantic (LOL) role in this film either , but he does drag a dead naked chick through a forest. If that isn’t progress…
Rufus, this time played by soon to be Michael Myers aka Tyler Mane, has the job of getting his ass shot to death, thereby enabling himself to no longer be alive or of use to anyone.
Again, I believe not in making points, only making brown (aka pooping). So, the moral of the story again is: “It takes all kinds of critters to make farmer Vincent’s fritters” or “One man’s food is another man’s sister” or “Don’t eat what you’ve raped” or something.
Seriously though, before you pass judgment on or make fun of a Hillbilly, make sure he doesn’t have any friends or weapons with him. You could possibly be killed, raped, eaten or beaten in any combination imaginable or you just might hurt some poor hilljack’s feelings. Either way, be good to us, we’re people too.
So, True Believers, there be the aforementioned meat-n-taters that hath been promised. Live Long and watch as many Scary Movies as you can.